“Professional Mourner” Posts His Rates On Facebook And The Internet Is Screaming

Death is something that none of us like to think about. But when a friend or a loved one dies, especially if it’s unexpectedly, it’s not uncommon to begin to wonder the final step of our ascent to the Pearly Gates will be like. Personally, I’d like to inject some humor into my funeral.

I think funerals should be a celebration of a person’s life, although it’s admittedly difficult not to get upset. That’s why I’d want to do something funny like have butlers in the buff as pallbearers. I’d want my friends and family to be laughing through their tears. But some people want to really be missed when it comes to their funerals – they demand tears! So that’s when professional mourner Sylvester Ricardo Moss could potentially step in. In a now viral Facebook post, the Nassu native revealed his prices, and the internet is screaming.  Whilst crying on demand isn’t something that everyone can do, it’s hard to imagine why anyone would be willing to pay someone to do it at their funeral. I think most of us – even if you’re hoping for an Addams Family funeral – would think that our loved ones will be crying anyway. However, if you’ve recently offended everyone you know and are planning to pop your mortal coil in the near future, worry not, as Moss is having a “summer special”, and his prices aren’t anywhere near as expensive as you might expect from a “professional”. Before parting with your hard-earned cash, Moss has included photographs of himself to demonstrate how brilliant he is at mourning. The trade of professional mourning has largely died out, but given how much attention his post has received, it could, ahem, be resurrected in the near future. Here’s what Moss wrote on Facebook. I must admit, his option of “crying and actually jumping in the grave” is a steal for $1,000.

“Do you want to boost your funeral? Hire me….the professional mourner to come and cry at the funeral. Below are the “Summer Special” prices:

1. Normal crying $50 2. Bahamian hollering $100 3. Crying and rolling on the ground $150 4. Crying and threatening to jump into the grave $200 5. Crying and actually jumping in the grave $1000 Inbox me for bookings”

Since posting his bizarre skillset and prices on Facebook on September 14, Moss’ post has garnered a staggering 150,000 likes, and it has been shared almost as many times. Facebook users couldn’t believe that such an ad had made its way onto their News Feed. Whilst most people have assumed that Moss’ post is a joke, there’s numerous photographs of him in a black suit on his Facebook profile so there could be more truth to his “summer special” than what initially meet the eye. Moss’ post also received a great deal of attention on Twitter where users were particularly impressed by his “crying and actually jumping in the grave” option, whereas others were enthusiastic about his “Bahamian hollering” option. Well, if I know the internet, I think it’s a pretty safe bet that Moss got at least one booking as a result of posting his “summer special” on Facebook. If his skills are anywhere near as good as they sound, he should really be making YouTube videos… or Hollywood movies.

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