There’s no holding back Hilary Duff!
The momma of two got REAL on Tuesday night, candidly opening up about her decision to stop breastfeeding her six-month-old daughter Banks Violet Koma.
The Younger star wrote on Instagram that it’s been difficult to breastfeed her baby while simultaneously going back to work:
“THIS ONE’S FOR THE LADIES Just a few thoughts that I wanted to share on Breast-feeding. Last week was my last week nursing Banks (my six month old) I am a working mom of two. My goal was to get my little girl to six months and then decide if I (and her of course) wanted to keep going. Let me tell you. Pumping at work sucks. I had zero down time and am usually pumping in a hair and make up trailer while four hands work to get me ready for the next scene with lots of other people around. Even if I had the luxury to be in my own room, it’s not even considered a “break” because you have to sit upright for the milk to flow into the bottles! Plus you are having your damn nipples tugged at by an aggressive machine that makes an annoying sound, that echoes through your head day and night (I swear that machine and I had many conversations at midnight and 3 am)! Ttttthen having to find someplace to sterilize bottles and keep your milk cold (ok I’m done with that rant lol)!”
“Anyway, I didn’t know this because with Luca I didn’t work until he was about nine months old, so I didn’t pump very often. Your milk supply drastically drops when you stop feeding as often and lose the actual contact and connection with your baby (😞). So I was eating all the fenugreek [sic] goats butt blessed thistle fennel cookies/drops/shakes/pills I could get my hands on! It was maddening. (Does fenugreek make anyone else smell like maple syrup and rubber gloves?…not chill) With all of this complaining, I want to say I enjoyed (almost) every moment of feeding my daughter. Felt so lucky to be so close to her and give her that start. I know many women are not able to and for that I am sympathetic and very grateful that I could. For six wonderful months. But I needed a break. I was going to break.”
Ultimately, the 31-year-old came to the decision to stop breastfeeding, but also recognizes that it doesn’t mean she’s any less of a badass mother:
“With the stress of a dropping milk supply and a baby that was getting bored or not caring about nursing when I was available to. I was sad and frustrated and feeling like a failure all of the time. When really I’m a bad ass rock star. Moms get high on feeling like superwoman…because we are! Doing too much, because we can! KEEP READING in the comments below 👇🏼♥️”
Her lengthy caption continued in the comments section of the photo:
“But somehow stuck on the feeling we can always do a little more! We are strong as hell over-achievers. I am amazed at all that we can do in one single day! That goes for myself, my mom friends, my mom, or my sister! I’m talking to you too mom, I don’t know who’s reading this. I wanted to share this because deciding to stop BFing was so emotional and hard. I thought about it ALL day everyday. It was a constant loop in my head. Weighing the pros and cons. And half of the time I wasn’t making any sense. It was about me, and not Banks at that point. I cried many times and felt so depressed while weening. I wasn’t myself at all. Something scary was hovering over my brain and my heart…the part of me that I know is smart and rational. The lows felt horrible. I was missing good time with my baby. But I was really missing that natural oxytocin high. Those chemicals are powerful hormones and no joke.”
The Material Girls actress concluded, alluding to the possibility that she’s open to the idea of more babies with longtime BF Matthew Koma in the future:
“I am happy to say that I haven’t fed or pumped in three days and it’s crazy how fast you can come out on the other side. I feel fine and happy and relieved and silly that I even stressed on it so hard. Banks is thriving and I get even more time with her and daddy gets to do more feeds! And mommy gets a tiny bit more sleep! Whether you are pre or postpartum. Or just a busy mom, You are a star everyday for all that you do. Always putting yourself last and running a mile a minute…while carrying all of the bags lol. Love you all and hope this helps anyone struggling! See you nursing bras✌🏻 until next time!”
You’ve come a long way since Lizzie McGuire, but you’re still serving up major life lessons for us all! You go, momma!!
[Image via Hilary Duff/Instagram.]
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