If You’re Trying To Be Funny/Political
White trash couple: Always hilarious and now v timely, we love a white trash couples costume. Have your dude wear a wife beater, tuck a cig behind his ear, grab a beer can, and strap on some fugly work boots. Extra points if he has a camo hat. For the ladies, make sure your hair is either in the “may I speak to a manager” wig, up in rollers, or in a v shitty ponytail. Squeeze into too small denim shorts, strap on hooker shoes and a too-small graphic T-shirt. Bonus for those who go pregnant or pretending to be.
Trump and Hillary: Totes upsetting and still not that funny, but like kind of funny. This gives you a chance to break out that pantsuit and gives your dude a chance to use your self-tanner … a lot of it.
If You Love Inside Jokes And Minimal Effort
Bob Ross and a Happy Tree: All you need for this is a shitty afro wig and some leaves from the dollar section in Michael’s. This costume is hilar because not quite everyone will get it, instantly making you cooler.
Boobs: This doesn’t take much effort or talent! Fill your shirts with stuffing, draw on an areola, and stand close together all night.
If You Are A Gross Hipster
Candace and Toni from : If you really want your dude to dress as a chick, why not go ALL the way and dress as the feminist bookstore owners from ? I mean, you’ll be able to look down on people and win points for extra creativity—a hipster wet dream.
If You Barely Know Your Date And Want To Look Hot
A Bunny and a Magician: If you’re dying to still dress like a total slut but want to work it into a couples costume, grab your Playboy bunny ears, a bunch of cotton balls, and a white onesie so you can play rabbit to your date’s magician. All he’ll need is a suit and a shitty top hat.
Sexy Nurse/Pirate/Viking: Check the internet—there’s literally an overly sexualized costume for everything. Wanna dress up as cleavage-laden steampunk people? How about a slutty M&M? Shit, you can even dress in “traditional” Scottish garb, but more street walker and less historical accuracy. The world is your slutty oyster.
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